The New Normal

The new normal:

What a day of memories this has been!
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We tend to think of memory as being closely associated and triggered by places, people, objects, scents (or odours), images, conversations, the wind or breeze, the languid movement of clouds above us, the list goes on.

But when you are recovering from TBI or traumatic brain injury as my husband, Mathew, is, your memories are submerged and potentially lost in the recesses of your mind because the pathways in your brain have been dramatically damaged or altered. While these pathways are rewiring themselves, memories - snippets or chunks - may slip back one day most unexpectedly. They are visceral and there is nothing concrete to peg them to. But you will recognise these memories to be true, to be real. The stirring is deep and undeniable, and penetrate your soul.

My husband had an epiphany today. The memory of his accident came back to him in a flash. What went through his mind minutes before his accident, the sequence of events as they unfolded, his mental and emotional state. 

Powerful recollections, though not as impactful as the blow that his brain, and memories, endured when his head hit the ground and he lost consciousness.

Three and a half years after the accident, we are still recovering and recollecting the memories that were lost. But the sagely adage, life goes on, rings true and sound. Everyday, we learn how to live with what I term, the new normal. It's the now normal. 

Holding steadfastly to the past when reality and circumstances have already morphed is not only impractical but it also causes pain. Many of my clients come to me when they are at breaking point. Their pain is all-consuming, and they are unable to let go of what's dead and gone, and embrace the new normal.

Embrace the new normal. Look around you, focus your mind on the present, observe and absorb the information that your five or six senses are feeding you. Understand who you are, where you are, and live in the now.